The Myth of the Alpha Male

Lately, I’ve been noticing a lot of people online claiming to be an “Alpha Male.” 

It’s gotten me to thinking about what that term means, and how it’s misused.

First, let us stipulate that the term itself comes from anthropology which has long since been debunked; but let’s be honest, the people who call themselves Alpha Males have never read the science. So lets go off the old science for now. There are many archetypes from movies and television that we can look at as examples of accurate and inaccurate representations.

The High Plains Drifter (HPD)

This is a classic American archetype of an Alpha, usually played by a John Wayne or Clint Eastwood type. He’s a loaner, a badass, a gunslinger. He kicks ass, and moves on. He’s cool. So why is the HPD not an Alpha?

Well, the most obvious reason is he’s not a leader. He’s a loan wolf, and while the village is glad he killed the bad guy, what he really is, is the lesser of two evils. He looks on the villagers with pity and contempt for being too weak to fight for themselves. He doesn’t like them. He just hates the bully more. 

This is no Alpha.

The 80’s/90’s action star (80/90)

This is John McClain from the Die Hard movies, or Steven Segal, Mel Gibson, or Jean-Claud Van Dam. Those movies are so formulaic, it doesn’t matter. This is the badass with Special Forces or Martial Arts training, a dark past, just trying to live his life. But you wouldn’t have much of a movie if shit didn’t go sideways. 

So why isn’t 80/90 an Alpha? Again, he’s the lone hero who saves the day by throwing the bad guy off a roof. He didn’t lead anyone. He just picked off henchmen one by one until he got to the big bad. 

The Period Piece legend (PP)

Here we find William Wallace from Braveheart and Maximus from Gladiator. Surely they’re Alpha’s, right? After all, they led armies. 

Well, that’s closer and the real-life versions of them certainly might have been. (I know Gladiator was fiction, but Ridley Scott says that Maximus was a composite of real people. Don’t @ me.) But these guys. As portrayed in their movies, are driven by violence and vengeance. Sure their actions serve 5he greater good, at least from the perspective the audience sees; but the greater good isn’t their primary motivator. 

All of these faux Alphas are violent, tortured people who die in service of their cause, or unrealistically live happily ever after with no PTSD. 

Band of Brothers

This series brought us three archetypes: Captains Sobel and Winters, and First Sergeant Lipton.

CPT Sobel is the closest to today’s self-described Alphas. He is loud, angry, self-aggrandizing, and in command. CPT Sobel has the authority to lead by virtue of his rank. He is impressive to his superiors because of the accomplishments of his unit. So is CPT Sobel (and the people who put Alpha Male in their bio) a real Alpha?

Not really. 

Sobel established his dominance as being an ultra disciplinarian, even punishing his subordinates for made-up infractions. His Soldiers didn’t follow him because he was their leader. They followed him because of his rank. 

They hated him, and a point came when they turned on him, and ultimately offered up their own careers to get him removed from authority. His leadership is based on fear and force, not actual leadership skills.

Real Alpha Males

Next, we have Captain (later Major, and ultimately Lieutenant Colonel) Winters. 

Captain Dick Winters is smart, capable, and has the trust of his subordinates. He holds himself slightly above them, but this isn’t about ego. He doesn’t want them to see him do anything that could diminish their respect for him. That, in and of itself, isn’t a bad thing. 

He leads with compassion, and fairness, even, at some points standing up to his superiors on behalf of his subordinates, and lying to his superiors about a pointless mission that would have gotten some of them killed for nothing. 

Winters is confident in himself (and has the confidence of his superiors and subordinates) to act autonomously, and his subordinates are always willing to follow his lead. He mentors his Soldiers to bring out their best. THIS is an Alpha. Only once did he have to assert his authority, and that was to his former superior (not anymore), Captain Sobel. 

Ultimate Alpha Males

But there is an even better example of a real Alpha. 

First Sergeant Lipton (played beautifully by Donnie New Kids On The Block Wahlberg) was an enlisted Soldier, promoted a little faster than his peers. We see why when they get to Bastone and have an inept commander. The leadership of the unit is in shambles, but the enlisted Soldiers stay in line, do their jobs, and keep their morale as high as could reasonably be expected.

Why? 

Because 1SG Lipton keeps them focused. He keeps them informed of what they need to know, spends time with them, checking on their physical and emotional state and needs. They know their commander is in the weeds, but they also trust that 1SG Lipton will guide them to high ground. He’s been where they are, and he genuinely cares about them personally. He never needs to assert his authority. They follow him because they can see that he’s the person they should follow. 

In fact, he never even views himself as a leader. He is surprised when his superiors reward his leadership by commissioning him in the field.

First Sergeant Lipton views himself as a servant, looking for whatever his Soldiers may need, and filling that need, so that they can be at their best. He shows strength when his Soldiers need confidence, vulnerability when they need to know they’re not alone. He leads by serving, motivated by love. And his Soldiers see that, and gladly follow. 

My mentor told me that people will do everything they have to do for a leader they fear. But they’ll do everything they can for a leader they love. This brings us back to the animals. 

It was widely believed for years that the alpha male was the strongest in the group. But we now know that it isn’t true. Anthropology of apes, wolves, lions, and many other species has shown that the leader of the pack is almost never the most violent. Instead, it’s the ape who shares his food, or the wolf who lets the rest of the pack eat first, that the rest of them follow and protect. 

This is true of humans too. It’s not the tough guys who lead, though certainly one must be strong to hold that responsibility. It’s not the person who yells a lot, or declares himself an Alpha. It’s what those people would call a Beta, that people actually follow.

So who are the real Alphas? 

I’m reminded of the scene in Game of Thrones, when King Joffrey shouts “I AM THE KING!”. His uncle replies “Any man who must say ‘I am the King’ is no king at all.” 

This is true in most aspects of life. They who declare themselves leaders, badasses, geniuses, tend to do so because they are insecure. They who would declare themselves righteous, men or women of God, patriots, usually do so to excuse behavior they know will be looked upon badly. 

If you’re a good person, strong, kind, compassionate, or wise, people will recognize it, and follow your lead. And if you find yourself declaring yourself an Alpha, ask yourself honestly, am I an Alpha, or just an asshole?

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